In life we are prone to exhaustion, frustration and burning out. This is particularly liable to happen when we are in community with one another, collaborating or sharing or even simply communicating. We make an effort, something comes up, something is postponed or doesn’t work out, or there is conflict, there is disagreement, and little by little we develop frustration and effort-fatigue. Our light goes out a little bit. This is an inevitable part of being human and living with others (even those we love dearly).
So how to work with the cycle of effort and frustration, fatigue? How to rekindle the flame? We have to find time to recharge, to relocate our calm and patience and inspiration in the midst of effort. This brought me to the idea of the paramitas. These are the qualities that keep us going: joyful effort, patience, wisdom, generosity, etc. So these are the qualities that need recharging, that need cultivation, to keep going in a skillful and beneficial way and not burn out and find ourselves unable to continue.
Sometimes the idea of cultivating the paramitas feels forced: I must develop patience. I must feel joyful effort now! This is a recipe for further burn out and frustration, this time with myself. Instead, I find the key is to invite questions:
- What would bring me greater joy right now?
- What conditions would help me cultivate patience?
- What situations would give me an opportunity to practice meditation?
By making these inquiries, I invite the causes of the paramitas into my life and hopefully give myself the space and time to explore them, to take the time to really recharge and reinspire myself to return to collaboration with others.